You Know You Wanna Creep

Ahh, the part where I tell you all about me so you know I’m not some escaped convict posing as a mogger (that’s a mom blogger.  It seemed shorter at the time and now I realize it was not at all).  How does one capture their life on a single page?

Jack of all trades, master of none. It’s a common enough saying.

And we’ve all heard the overused cliches of how moms are taxi drivers, ATMs, cooks, maids, teachers, popper scoopers…blah blah blah. Yes, it’s overused and tired. But it’s true.

I’m an alarm clock…although one that has its snooze button pushed far too many times, resulting in inevitable rushing around in chaotic craziness each and every morning all in the name of five more horizontal minutes for me. And another five. Can I squeeze in another few minutes of shut-eye? OK, I’m pushing my luck and I should really get out of bed. Crap, I must have dozed off again, now I gotta haul ass!

I’m a cook…although only my kids and my sisters appreciate my baking and my cooking is passable at best.

I’m an art teacher…but our crafts are often haphazard renditions that would make Martha Stewart cringe.

I’m a nurse…but don’t rat me out for not having any official training; I’d hate for them to take away my Barney bandages to ensure I’m not faced with a malpractice suit.

I’m a photographer…oh wait, one look at my pictures and you’ll know that I have no business even trying to lay claim that title.  Scratch that one.

I’m a housekeeper…scratch that one, too.  I can’t even try to lay claim to that title.

I’m a chauffeur…but as my barely-two year old pointed out after dramatically yelling and thrashing about in his car seat one day when I turned the corner a bit sharply, “Whoa, whoa, whoa! Your driving’s not very good!”

I’m a maid…but as my sweet husband lovingly points out when I’m frustrated that I can’t seem to keep up on the housework, “Well most people probably don’t spend several hours on tasks like making guitar cases for their kids out of cardboard and duct tape. Perhaps if you spent less time being such an involved mother and more time cleaning…?” Sigh. I hate housework.

I’m a micromanager…I try, but generally I’m just happy if we all get out the door having gone pee, wearing the proper outerwear and carrying the diaper bag. Remembering to actually pack diapers is a bonus.

Like all moms, I dabble in a bit of this and a bit of that. But no matter how badly I perform these various tasks, the one thing I try to be good at is being a mom. I love my three children so very much, and even though I fall short daily and sometimes hourly, I try to be the best mom I can be.

My blog is about a little o’ this and a little o’ that.  So I say that I’m a Jack of all trades, master of Mom.


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